Ok, I promise, this is going to be my last vacation in a long time! Unless you count my all expenses paid trip to a certain cradle of civilization country that some of my friends refer to as me going on vacation. How's that for denial?
At this point, I'm a little more than halfway through this vacation. Last week after being beaten shamelessly in a game of Settlers (even though I was totally justified in losing, they had to change the game AND the rules just to have a chance at beating me) I decided I needed a pick me up. Where else do I go? That's right, to visit my best friend Jason in San Diego. He always makes me feel better. At this very moment, I'm watching him sleep uncomfortably on a love seat, last night's bowl of ice cream sitting next to him. I took his bed, heck, just doing that makes me feel better! Dang he woke up. But yes, I'm halfway through this vacation. I had a pretty boring week, didn't do ANY of the things that I had set out to do, and decided that I needed to come visit him, if only to justify my procrastination a little bit more.
Yesterday we went to Sea World, with him complaining about my selection of parks. With all the parks that were around, why did I have to chose Sea World! It was like picking McDonalds when there's a dozen fancy places around. Well to be honest I didn't know there were any other parks around, and Sea World came highly recommended. I sat listening to him complain about it all the way to the park, but once we got in the park, oooh guess what! Sea World was his favorite park when he was 9, and he was excited to be going again. Such a baby underneath that rough, tough, grouchy, depressing exterior. I love this kid. But of course it was raining most of the day, clearing up later. I really enjoyed most of the exhibits, though I got the feeling that at my age, unless I'm coming with a couple toddlers, it's not really geared for my enjoyment. I think I'm in between their target demographics which are little kids, and parents of little kids who have the money.
But today being Sunday I think we're going to take it a bit slower and just relax, go to the beach and walk around. Crazy to think that just a week ago I was sitting on the East coast, and now I'm on the West coast. It's going to be a good day, and I'm looking forward to spending time with my best friend till my flight leaves. I should probably find someone to pick me up from the airport huh? Anyone want to come get me at midnight?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Vacations again
Where I last left off, I had just gotten home from Florida. Lo and behold, 2 days later it was time for me to run off and go play Army in Virginia for 2 weeks. This training was the final training for my Warrant Officer promotion. It was supposed to give me the basics of management within my field, and teach me supervisor functions on several computer systems that we'd normally use. The normal Active Duty Army course is 8 weeks long, but since I'm a Reservist I only got a 2 week course. So they took 8 weeks worth of material and condensed it down to a 2 week version. You'd think that it'd be a very "go go go" type class, starting early and ending late, lots of learning the whole time, right? Wrong. I should never underestimate the Army's ability to screw things up. Of the 13 days that I was there (rather, supposed to be there, due to a misunderstanding I showed up a day early, and I left a day late, to be explained later) we probably only had 6 days worth of classes. The rest of the time was spent in the classroom, but we were sitting around doing nothing. They would have us get up at 3 am for most of the first week, for random things that would only take an hour or two to do, and then they'd let us go till 8. We couldn't go back to sleep, it was pointless to go back to the hotel that we were staying in (oh, I found a dead roach every morning in my room, great way to wake up). It was frustrating the amount of time that we could have either been learning something useful or doing something that we wanted to do.
But anyway, the class was useless, I didn't learn anything. Scary considering how I'm going to be expected to do my job without problems or bumps here in about 3 weeks, just because I checked the box that said I got the proper training. Kinda reminds me of how I feel about a high school diploma or a college degree!
On to the fun stuff though! While most of my classmates were leaving on the Friday that we graduated (yet another waste of time that nobody cared to do yet had to checked off in order to justify our instructors' jobs.) I wasn't scheduled to leave until the following day. And it just so happened that some people were headed to Myrtle Beach, SC that week for a vacation. I was lucky enough to be invited down to hang out till my flight left. So right after the graduation I drove the 5 hours to the beach, and within a half hour of me arriving I was in the water! It was so nice, the water was warm, the company was amazing and the weather was perfect. We swam for about an hour, then went back to the room to change. We had tickets to go to a show called Medieval Times. I had never heard of it before, but it's dinner and a show, set in the 11th Century. I understand that the story varies from place to place, but our section had a knight to cheer for, and we watched horses do tricks, and some really good riding and sword fighting. I thought that my sister Kelly should go work there, she'd love it. We ate dinner with our hands, and our wrench (waitress) was really fun to interact with. When we got back to the hotel, which I might add, I'm very grateful to my friend for letting me crash on the extra bed for free, and I'm glad that it wasn't a King sized bed, cause that might have been a bit awkward at times! But anyway, after dinner we walked around on the beach for hours and hours just talking and catching up. It was warm, and we walked in the surf watching the heat lightening over the ocean. It could have been considered romantic by some, I was just enjoying the view and people watching. It's odd how many people were out and about as late as we were, but I guess we were out too... We got ice cream and watched a guy tap dance, talked about the various types and groups of people that were around us, and just enjoyed being there. I don't think we got to bed till 3 or so, but it's going to be a long time till I see anyone from there again, if ever, so I wanted to make it last.
The next morning I knew I'd have to leave sooner than I wanted to, so we got up and walked the beach again, looking at shells and letting the moments linger. We finished conversations from the night before, ate breakfast and packed up. I really enjoyed my time out there, and it made the previous two weeks of pain and suffering totally worth it. I'm glad that I went, and I hope that we all keep in touch and know that if they ever come out to Utah for any reason they have a place to stay and a friend to hang out with. Some really amazing people...
But all good things must come to an end, and this one ended way too soon for my liking. I could have gone another week, easily. I left with enough time to get to the airport and sit around for an hour or two, just in case. And it was a good thing I did, cause due to backed up traffic coming out of Myrtle Beach and an accident along the way, I lost about 2 hours. So I had to go 85-90 (in a 65!) the times that I wasn't sitting still in traffic, and thanks to some good driving and some blessings from Heaven, I made it safely, with about 10 minutes to spare before the plane took off.
It felt good to be home, though I longed to be back at the beach in the company of good friends, no cares and amazing weather. I was able to see my sister Laura and her husband Shane last Sunday for dinner. They made me pancakes and bacon, it was so good to not have Army food at last! We played an expansion version of Settlers, and I came in dead last, but not by much. At least I will always have the satisfaction of beating Shane the first time I played him. Probably a very good thing on his part that he lost. It may not have been a good thing beating your future brother in law in a game he's good at the first time you meet him. I totally felt like the Alpha male. Yes yes, my ego was massaged, still is.
But anyway, the class was useless, I didn't learn anything. Scary considering how I'm going to be expected to do my job without problems or bumps here in about 3 weeks, just because I checked the box that said I got the proper training. Kinda reminds me of how I feel about a high school diploma or a college degree!
On to the fun stuff though! While most of my classmates were leaving on the Friday that we graduated (yet another waste of time that nobody cared to do yet had to checked off in order to justify our instructors' jobs.) I wasn't scheduled to leave until the following day. And it just so happened that some people were headed to Myrtle Beach, SC that week for a vacation. I was lucky enough to be invited down to hang out till my flight left. So right after the graduation I drove the 5 hours to the beach, and within a half hour of me arriving I was in the water! It was so nice, the water was warm, the company was amazing and the weather was perfect. We swam for about an hour, then went back to the room to change. We had tickets to go to a show called Medieval Times. I had never heard of it before, but it's dinner and a show, set in the 11th Century. I understand that the story varies from place to place, but our section had a knight to cheer for, and we watched horses do tricks, and some really good riding and sword fighting. I thought that my sister Kelly should go work there, she'd love it. We ate dinner with our hands, and our wrench (waitress) was really fun to interact with. When we got back to the hotel, which I might add, I'm very grateful to my friend for letting me crash on the extra bed for free, and I'm glad that it wasn't a King sized bed, cause that might have been a bit awkward at times! But anyway, after dinner we walked around on the beach for hours and hours just talking and catching up. It was warm, and we walked in the surf watching the heat lightening over the ocean. It could have been considered romantic by some, I was just enjoying the view and people watching. It's odd how many people were out and about as late as we were, but I guess we were out too... We got ice cream and watched a guy tap dance, talked about the various types and groups of people that were around us, and just enjoyed being there. I don't think we got to bed till 3 or so, but it's going to be a long time till I see anyone from there again, if ever, so I wanted to make it last.
The next morning I knew I'd have to leave sooner than I wanted to, so we got up and walked the beach again, looking at shells and letting the moments linger. We finished conversations from the night before, ate breakfast and packed up. I really enjoyed my time out there, and it made the previous two weeks of pain and suffering totally worth it. I'm glad that I went, and I hope that we all keep in touch and know that if they ever come out to Utah for any reason they have a place to stay and a friend to hang out with. Some really amazing people...
But all good things must come to an end, and this one ended way too soon for my liking. I could have gone another week, easily. I left with enough time to get to the airport and sit around for an hour or two, just in case. And it was a good thing I did, cause due to backed up traffic coming out of Myrtle Beach and an accident along the way, I lost about 2 hours. So I had to go 85-90 (in a 65!) the times that I wasn't sitting still in traffic, and thanks to some good driving and some blessings from Heaven, I made it safely, with about 10 minutes to spare before the plane took off.
It felt good to be home, though I longed to be back at the beach in the company of good friends, no cares and amazing weather. I was able to see my sister Laura and her husband Shane last Sunday for dinner. They made me pancakes and bacon, it was so good to not have Army food at last! We played an expansion version of Settlers, and I came in dead last, but not by much. At least I will always have the satisfaction of beating Shane the first time I played him. Probably a very good thing on his part that he lost. It may not have been a good thing beating your future brother in law in a game he's good at the first time you meet him. I totally felt like the Alpha male. Yes yes, my ego was massaged, still is.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Fulfilling a request
So some of you may have heard that I've been away from the blessed protection of Utah lately. The truth is, I have. And to be honest, I'm having to look at a calendar to remember when I was where and why. On the 20th of May I headed home to Alabama to visit my family. I was really looking forward to spending some time with my family and relaxing. I got to see my sisters, well three of them, the other one was still in Utah being lame, going to school or something. My parents were there, as were my dogs. It was great to see everybody, though my dog Daisy was looking older and weaker (sure enough, I got a phone call the other day saying that they weren't sure if she was going to make it much longer. More to be said about this later).
I didn't sleep much at my parents house, but when I woke up, my sister Emily went back to West Virginia and my sister Kelly and I headed down to Pensacola Florida to see my Grandmom. It was a 6 hour drive, and after a night of little sleep, all I wanted to do was crash. Bless her heart, I love my Grandmom, but she is slightly over accommodating. Kelly and I wanted to fix a sandwich, so we got out the meat, mustard, cheese and all that. Well after we're halfway done fixing out sandwiches, she tells us about every other type of sandwich that we can have, and if we run out of something then we can go shopping for it in the morning. And it wasn't just sandwiches that she did that for, it was pretty much all food. That woman can talk! We talked about the phone lines in her house, painting the numbers over the garage, everything. I did enjoy helping her out though, I power washed her back porch and changed some light bulbs, plus I repainted her house numbers. I think Kelly did something for her, but that might have been just listening to her talk, bless her heart. It needs a lot of blessing. I stayed with her for a couple days before I flew to Miami to see my friend Caleb.
Caleb worked for the Coast Guard in the Florida Keys, shooting up drug runners and stopping illegal immigrants from entering the country. Apparently once Cubans get into the country, so he says, they get $10k from the government, and then they can get a $250k home loan and a $250 business starter loan, 76% of those loans are defaulted on. There are too many people out there for the banks to get their money back or go collect their things. I don't know if its true or not, but it's interesting.
Caleb is one of those kinds of guys that everybody likes. He hits it off immediately with everyone that comes around, makes connections and somehow gets all sorts of benefits from it. Like he used to live across from a bay, and did some odd jobs for a lady who owned the docks and some property, so she let him take her boats out whenever he liked. Eventually, when Caleb's family moved back to Idaho to save on housing costs, she let him live on her boats. How cool is that? I'm just the lucky friend who gets to reap the benefits of having a friend that everyone likes. So I get to crash on a 40 foot boat with one of my best friends, in the Florida Keys. We go out snorkeling everyday, and I got so burnt! I forgot to put sunscreen on my legs and head, but I remembered later that night! It was amazing though, all the fish that we saw. There were some baracuda that scared the crap out of me, I mean they were as big as I was! They could have eaten me pretty easily if they wanted to, with as many of them as there were.
But alas, all good things must come to an end. I had to go home. I was grateful for my chances to see my family even with all the drama that only family can bring, and my adopted brother Caleb. I flew home on a Wednesday, and had time to unpack, do my laundry, and pack again, cause I flew to Virginia on Saturday for some fun Army stuff. But I'm going to have to write about that later cause I'm way tired, and I still have to pack for my San Diego trip tomorrow morning.
Oh, and my friend A kept teasing me, so I told her I'd write about her. Today she got a facial, and apparently her face smells good, and she went to a Chinese food party tonight. At least I didn't write that you were a crazed controlling freak!
I didn't sleep much at my parents house, but when I woke up, my sister Emily went back to West Virginia and my sister Kelly and I headed down to Pensacola Florida to see my Grandmom. It was a 6 hour drive, and after a night of little sleep, all I wanted to do was crash. Bless her heart, I love my Grandmom, but she is slightly over accommodating. Kelly and I wanted to fix a sandwich, so we got out the meat, mustard, cheese and all that. Well after we're halfway done fixing out sandwiches, she tells us about every other type of sandwich that we can have, and if we run out of something then we can go shopping for it in the morning. And it wasn't just sandwiches that she did that for, it was pretty much all food. That woman can talk! We talked about the phone lines in her house, painting the numbers over the garage, everything. I did enjoy helping her out though, I power washed her back porch and changed some light bulbs, plus I repainted her house numbers. I think Kelly did something for her, but that might have been just listening to her talk, bless her heart. It needs a lot of blessing. I stayed with her for a couple days before I flew to Miami to see my friend Caleb.
Caleb worked for the Coast Guard in the Florida Keys, shooting up drug runners and stopping illegal immigrants from entering the country. Apparently once Cubans get into the country, so he says, they get $10k from the government, and then they can get a $250k home loan and a $250 business starter loan, 76% of those loans are defaulted on. There are too many people out there for the banks to get their money back or go collect their things. I don't know if its true or not, but it's interesting.
Caleb is one of those kinds of guys that everybody likes. He hits it off immediately with everyone that comes around, makes connections and somehow gets all sorts of benefits from it. Like he used to live across from a bay, and did some odd jobs for a lady who owned the docks and some property, so she let him take her boats out whenever he liked. Eventually, when Caleb's family moved back to Idaho to save on housing costs, she let him live on her boats. How cool is that? I'm just the lucky friend who gets to reap the benefits of having a friend that everyone likes. So I get to crash on a 40 foot boat with one of my best friends, in the Florida Keys. We go out snorkeling everyday, and I got so burnt! I forgot to put sunscreen on my legs and head, but I remembered later that night! It was amazing though, all the fish that we saw. There were some baracuda that scared the crap out of me, I mean they were as big as I was! They could have eaten me pretty easily if they wanted to, with as many of them as there were.
But alas, all good things must come to an end. I had to go home. I was grateful for my chances to see my family even with all the drama that only family can bring, and my adopted brother Caleb. I flew home on a Wednesday, and had time to unpack, do my laundry, and pack again, cause I flew to Virginia on Saturday for some fun Army stuff. But I'm going to have to write about that later cause I'm way tired, and I still have to pack for my San Diego trip tomorrow morning.
Oh, and my friend A kept teasing me, so I told her I'd write about her. Today she got a facial, and apparently her face smells good, and she went to a Chinese food party tonight. At least I didn't write that you were a crazed controlling freak!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Talking
I'm in Virginia right now, and I'm slightly frustrated. I want to talk to people, to someone, anyone. I can call, text or email people, but I miss the human interaction that all that lacks. I rely so much on my relationships with people to keep me sane, and I feel that I'm slowly being pulled away from everyone. And when I go to Iraq, I'll be forced to forge new human interactions with the people I'm there with. While I'm gone, I worry about those I leave behind, and how the lack of interaction will affect our relationships. I know that deep down we'll all be friends, and that people change whether I'm there to experience it or not, but still that weighs on me more than anything else I face while I'm over there. I'm sure that I'll make friends while I'm over there, but I'd say that 90% of the interaction I'll have will be the leader/subordinate type.
Eh, I'll be home in less than a week and I'll get to see most of my people. I'll try to spend as much quality time with them as possible.
Eh, I'll be home in less than a week and I'll get to see most of my people. I'll try to spend as much quality time with them as possible.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Left behind
My sister Kelly graduated yesterday from West Virginia University, with a degree in advanced construction paper cutting or something like that... Actually it's called Theater Sciences or put a costume on an emo gay guy, I don't know. The way I look at it, she can now tell the texture of glitter to check it's quality, or how much ink is left in a marker, just by smelling it. I imagine she sniffed quite a few markers. Just think, (as I told her the other day) that she could have saved lots of money if she had just stayed in preschool a few more years and gotten the same experience! It is a bit depressing to think back and see that when I graduated High School, she was still in 8th grade, so I really slacked off! Granted I've lost about 14 semesters worth of school while working for the Army, so technically I could almost be a doctor by now. Wow, that almost makes me feel better.
But in all reality, I love her, and I'm very very proud of her! Good job Kelly. You'll never be as cool as I am though.
But in all reality, I love her, and I'm very very proud of her! Good job Kelly. You'll never be as cool as I am though.
random things cont...
9, or 10, or whatever number I was on before...
I go through swings of severe loneliness, depression, concern, apprehension, and looking forward to, all related to this deployment.
I figured out that I'm going to leave my truck in Idaho in the care of some very good family friends. The majority of the rest of my stuff will be in a storage shed somewhere. I hate packing, so if you want to come and shove some of my junk in a box for me, I would love the help!
I need to stop cussing... Yep, I'm willing to bet that 99.99% of you have never heard me even come close to swearing, mostly cause I only do it when working for the Army. I'm not the person who constantly vomits 4 letter words, I'm quite selective about it actually. However, I'm in a culture which lends itself to baser things at times, dealing with things that occasionally need highlighted, cussing does a decent job. And some Soldiers and situations tend to need to be cursed at more than others. But I'm going to stop. Today. I'm not even going to think them. I expect better from myself. Bet you didn't even know I cursed, did you?
I had a ton of mail waiting for me when I got home, including 3 wedding announcements. I fully expect that more than half of my close friends of the female persuasion will be married by the time I get home.
It's going to be easy to live the Gospel over there in relation to the big things (no sex, drugs, drinking) but it's going to be more of a challenge to find the quiet time to ponder life and the gospel, to really read my scriptures and pray the way I should.
I've set a lot of goals for this deployment.
Save money
Pay off all debts
Stop finishing people's sentences for them
Be more of a self starter
Develop more internal motivation
Learn Spanish
Learn more Arabic
Read one Church and one Secular book at a time
Don't waste time watching dumb movies or playing games
Go to the gym for an hour 4 times a week (come back ripped, make girls drool, I'm gonna be almost 28, and no job or degree when I get home, I'm gonna need some help...)
Learn my Army job better than I do now
Grow closer to God through constant prayer and having a song in my heart
Read my scriptures everyday, and if I have a day off, for several hours that day
Memorize scriptures that mean a lot to me
Don't worry so much about the people at home and where we're all going to fit into each others lives when I get back, it's in the Lord's hands, and there's not a thing I can do about it.
These are just a few of the goals I've set. Ok, they're most of them, but I've bitten off quite a bit here. I'm going to focus quite a bit on improving myself. Last deployment I wasted my time watching movies, sitting on my cot, and playing computer games. I blew money on stupid stuff because I was bored. NOT GONNA HAPPEN THIS TIME!!!! I'm going to buy 3 possibly 4 things this whole time I'm gone. A camera to take pictures with, a laptop to email friends and family, (and to update my blog of course) which will also be used in school the next time I'm actually allowed to go to school, and a motorcycle. Possibly a road bike, but that's up in the air. Oh, and I'm going to get into rock climbing when I get home.
I go through swings of severe loneliness, depression, concern, apprehension, and looking forward to, all related to this deployment.
I figured out that I'm going to leave my truck in Idaho in the care of some very good family friends. The majority of the rest of my stuff will be in a storage shed somewhere. I hate packing, so if you want to come and shove some of my junk in a box for me, I would love the help!
I need to stop cussing... Yep, I'm willing to bet that 99.99% of you have never heard me even come close to swearing, mostly cause I only do it when working for the Army. I'm not the person who constantly vomits 4 letter words, I'm quite selective about it actually. However, I'm in a culture which lends itself to baser things at times, dealing with things that occasionally need highlighted, cussing does a decent job. And some Soldiers and situations tend to need to be cursed at more than others. But I'm going to stop. Today. I'm not even going to think them. I expect better from myself. Bet you didn't even know I cursed, did you?
I had a ton of mail waiting for me when I got home, including 3 wedding announcements. I fully expect that more than half of my close friends of the female persuasion will be married by the time I get home.
It's going to be easy to live the Gospel over there in relation to the big things (no sex, drugs, drinking) but it's going to be more of a challenge to find the quiet time to ponder life and the gospel, to really read my scriptures and pray the way I should.
I've set a lot of goals for this deployment.
Save money
Pay off all debts
Stop finishing people's sentences for them
Be more of a self starter
Develop more internal motivation
Learn Spanish
Learn more Arabic
Read one Church and one Secular book at a time
Don't waste time watching dumb movies or playing games
Go to the gym for an hour 4 times a week (come back ripped, make girls drool, I'm gonna be almost 28, and no job or degree when I get home, I'm gonna need some help...)
Learn my Army job better than I do now
Grow closer to God through constant prayer and having a song in my heart
Read my scriptures everyday, and if I have a day off, for several hours that day
Memorize scriptures that mean a lot to me
Don't worry so much about the people at home and where we're all going to fit into each others lives when I get back, it's in the Lord's hands, and there's not a thing I can do about it.
These are just a few of the goals I've set. Ok, they're most of them, but I've bitten off quite a bit here. I'm going to focus quite a bit on improving myself. Last deployment I wasted my time watching movies, sitting on my cot, and playing computer games. I blew money on stupid stuff because I was bored. NOT GONNA HAPPEN THIS TIME!!!! I'm going to buy 3 possibly 4 things this whole time I'm gone. A camera to take pictures with, a laptop to email friends and family, (and to update my blog of course) which will also be used in school the next time I'm actually allowed to go to school, and a motorcycle. Possibly a road bike, but that's up in the air. Oh, and I'm going to get into rock climbing when I get home.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Random things...
Random things that I have either realized or had solidified for me while I've been at this training.
1. I can be calm under pressure. While I was eating lunch one day I had a snake crawl on me, and basically just hang out next to me. It was scared and with me trying to get everyone away from me so it wouldn't freak out any more than it already was, it was a tense moment. I stayed totally still and calm while everyone else was running and screaming away, then running back to see exactly what it looked like (while it was still on me, thus scaring the snake even more). Eventually once I yelled enough at everyone to get away, the snake wandered off, and I finished my lunch. Nobody else sat down to finish their lunch.
2. That same group of Soldiers who were running away screaming and scared, with some practice (quite a bit of practice) have me convinced that they can kill a vast amount of bad guys.
3. My rank does scary things. People salute me (as they should), call me Sir, Chief or Mr. McGill now instead of Sarge. It makes my troopies tense occasionally, they're more formal around me (as they should). The other night, I walked up on a group of them talking about doing some semi mean prank to another guy, but as soon as they saw it was me, they stopped talking about it. If I was still enlisted, they'd probably have included me in the plot. They now expect me to have all the answers, moreso than before. If I tell them to go do something, they REALLY HAVE to follow what I tell them, even if it's to go die...I now have a whole new set of expectations placed upon me. For example, when I was enlisted I could go eat lunch whenever with whomever I wanted, now it's expected that I wait and eat with another officer.
4. People don't like it when I tell them I died. During training, I sometimes get hit or have something blown off. Like Wednesday I was shot in the neck, and since my medics didn't get to me in time, I died. So in addition to all the things I wasn't really planning on telling you all about when I get over there (getting hit by IED's, getting shot at, being mortared) I now won't tell you about me being simulated dead. Even though it weighs on me that I'll come back missing an arm or a leg.
5. According to the Army, I'm a higher risk for suicide. I just got out of a relationship, I experienced a big life change (swapping from being elisted to officer and joining a new unit), I've had previous history of sorts, depression runs in my family (gallops is more like it), and I face quite a bit of uncertainty when I get home, I often feel like I don't have much to hold onto, to look forward to, when I get home. And I'm talking people, not things or events there... But I'll be ok, so no worries...
6. I have recurring nightmares and lose quite a bit of sleep b/c of the deployment and the weight that I'm placing on myself. Happened last time, it's happening again this time.
7. I'll be going to one of the largest, nicest bases in Iraq, and with my job and rank, I'll probably never leave the base, and be very nice and safe.
8. I'm going to really miss quite a few people and places here in Utah and all over.
1. I can be calm under pressure. While I was eating lunch one day I had a snake crawl on me, and basically just hang out next to me. It was scared and with me trying to get everyone away from me so it wouldn't freak out any more than it already was, it was a tense moment. I stayed totally still and calm while everyone else was running and screaming away, then running back to see exactly what it looked like (while it was still on me, thus scaring the snake even more). Eventually once I yelled enough at everyone to get away, the snake wandered off, and I finished my lunch. Nobody else sat down to finish their lunch.
2. That same group of Soldiers who were running away screaming and scared, with some practice (quite a bit of practice) have me convinced that they can kill a vast amount of bad guys.
3. My rank does scary things. People salute me (as they should), call me Sir, Chief or Mr. McGill now instead of Sarge. It makes my troopies tense occasionally, they're more formal around me (as they should). The other night, I walked up on a group of them talking about doing some semi mean prank to another guy, but as soon as they saw it was me, they stopped talking about it. If I was still enlisted, they'd probably have included me in the plot. They now expect me to have all the answers, moreso than before. If I tell them to go do something, they REALLY HAVE to follow what I tell them, even if it's to go die...I now have a whole new set of expectations placed upon me. For example, when I was enlisted I could go eat lunch whenever with whomever I wanted, now it's expected that I wait and eat with another officer.
4. People don't like it when I tell them I died. During training, I sometimes get hit or have something blown off. Like Wednesday I was shot in the neck, and since my medics didn't get to me in time, I died. So in addition to all the things I wasn't really planning on telling you all about when I get over there (getting hit by IED's, getting shot at, being mortared) I now won't tell you about me being simulated dead. Even though it weighs on me that I'll come back missing an arm or a leg.
5. According to the Army, I'm a higher risk for suicide. I just got out of a relationship, I experienced a big life change (swapping from being elisted to officer and joining a new unit), I've had previous history of sorts, depression runs in my family (gallops is more like it), and I face quite a bit of uncertainty when I get home, I often feel like I don't have much to hold onto, to look forward to, when I get home. And I'm talking people, not things or events there... But I'll be ok, so no worries...
6. I have recurring nightmares and lose quite a bit of sleep b/c of the deployment and the weight that I'm placing on myself. Happened last time, it's happening again this time.
7. I'll be going to one of the largest, nicest bases in Iraq, and with my job and rank, I'll probably never leave the base, and be very nice and safe.
8. I'm going to really miss quite a few people and places here in Utah and all over.
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