Quotes and songs

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a good-bye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understands, we’ve been forced to say good-bye.
I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly good-bye, I know we will see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we’ve had before. –The Notebook

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. Joseph Campbell

Stained- So far away
Chris daughtry, Home
Avril Lavigne I miss you

A long and rambling blog

Ok ok fine, I’ll blog. But only because you’ve asked me nicely. And so many times. I’m sitting in my CHU (containerize housing unit) which has 4 walls, a door and a window. I’ve got a night stand, bed with mattress, a wardrobe for all my clothes and what possessions I brought with me. I have a great roommate, internet that works most of the time and allows me to do most of what I’d like to do online. I’m sitting on the plush rug that I bought, staring at a 42 inch tv (don’t ask how we got it and I won’t have to lie, and we’re going to be getting like 12 channels here in a few days) with bottles of Gatorade and cookies sent by various friends, wondering if I should turn the AC warmer. I live like 75 feet from a trailer that has running hot water and semi sanitary toilets. I get to take hot showers, for as long as I want, everyday. Someone even cleans the showers and toilets, everyday! I can have my laundry washed and folded for me, all I have to do is take it out of my bag and put it away! I go to a chow hall that’s about 100 yards away from where I live. The food there isn’t the greatest, but there’s a large variety to choose from. To drink they have every type of Gatorade, soda or juice you can think of. They feed us 3 times a day, 4 if you want to get up for midnight chow. Even if you miss the 3 hour window for each meal, they’ve got a room in the back that will give you whatever kind of sandwich you want, 24 hours a day. They have 6 flavors of Baskin Robbins ice cream, cheese cake of every type, cakes, pies, cookies, and fresh fruit. I’ve had watermelon for breakfast, lunch or dinner almost every day since I’ve been here. I work about 250 yards away from where I live, I’ve got two computers for what I do, with 3 screens. I have a staff of 2 other guys who do whatever I tell them to. On my desk I’ve got a phone that I can call back to the States, free, whenever I want. They have a movie theater here that plays about 6 movies a week, and a swimming pool. I’m not sure how many gyms we have here, like 6 or 7, most of them within walking distance. We’ve got a store that sells every type of junk imaginable if you want to pay the cost. And a Burger King, something like a Starbucks and Cinnabon, Subway and a Pizza Hut knock off. I get to go to church every week for the full 2 hours, and we have an institute class on Thursday nights. Someone emails me to tell me when I’ve gotten a package or letter. I deal with maybe 10 people for work, and they all are really cool for the most part. I get to sit at my desk, with my bottled water and Gatorade and whatever junk that I’ve nicked from the chow hall (usually Pop tarts or muffins) to go along with my morning hot chocolate.
I have to attend meetings, track equipment, and fill out powerpoint presentations, my information gets briefed to the commanding general every day, and unfortunately, he’s starting to ask questions about what I’m sending up. Honestly I could put whatever I wanted on a slide and nobody but me would know if its true or not. I try and explain my job to other people, and they just get confused. I was confused about it too, until I had to do it everyday for the past month. Now it’s easy. My days are often the same as the one previous to it. Sunday and Monday are the only ones that are different. Sunday I don’t have to go to work till 1, then I leave to walk to church at 130, get back from that at 430, and if I can finish my reports, I’m off by 5. Not a bad day. Mondays are different because that’s the day we all pile into our ghetto van, a 15 passenger van with the rear window boarded up because a helo picked up a rock with its rotor-wash and busted it out. That means a helicopter landed near it and a rock was blown away and broke the window. Anyway, we all get into our van, drive to the other side of the base, and attend what we call “Chicken Sandwich Monday”. For lunch every Monday the chow hall on the other side of the base serves phenomenal chicken sandwiches that everyone here knows about. It’s pretty much the highlight of our work week.
I don’t know exactly why I told you all that. I guess I just don’t want anyone to have misconceptions about what its like and what it is I’m specifically doing over here. I realize that there’s a larger picture to all this, and my unit is directly supporting it, but for me, I play an extremely small role. There are days that I think to myself, “I could stay over here for the rest of my life, earning easy money, avoiding any real responsibility like getting married or raising a family”. I really have everything a human being needs to survive. If I could visit my friends and family occasionally, perhaps be on the same schedule as they are, instead of 10 hours ahead of them, it might not be a bad idea…
I think I’ve had a mental shift this past month. It started on Veterans Day I believe. I got all sorts of emails and stuff from people back home saying thanks for my service and everything. I’ve long since realized that people, upon finding out I’m in the Army, will thank me for my service and sacrifice. I know that they want to express their gratitude to the Armed Forces in general. To be honest, if we all lived around an Army, Naval or Marine base, instead of Hill Air Force Base, we’d have a different view of the military. We’d still appreciate the Armed Forces of course, but our perspective would be different. I’m not about to make a comparison to say that one branch is better than another, but just ponder how it would affect the community that we live in. Navy, Marine and Army families are used to their service member being gone for long periods of time just for training. Air Force, eh not so much. Deployments, Army is usually 12-18 months away, Navy is frequently gone for 6-8 month rotations as a standard, Marines are only gone 7 months, but they usually have the harshest conditions and are placed in slightly more hazardous situations than your average Army person. The Air Force? 6 months in Qatar is their standard. Qatar is where the rest of us go for a 4 day pass, to get a mental vacation, away from Iraq. Think of the effect the lengths of time these deployments have on a family, on a community. Its so different. I have never been comfortable with people coming to me to show their appreciation for the Armed Forces. I was at Sea World with Jason this past spring and at one point they asked everyone who was, or had been in the Service to stand up. I hate things like these, but I grudgingly stood up. I realize that people want something to focus their appreciation on. For me, what I do with the Army is something that I have difficulty explaining. I don’t do it for the thanks of others, for the college money, or the prestige. Not even because some girls think a guy in uniform is irresistible. I do it because I feel it’s the right thing to do. Because I don’t want anyone else to have to go through it, or deal with anything like what I have to deal with.
Not that I’m saying being over here is hard, as I pointed out earlier, I’ve got it better than most of you when it comes to living conditions. The feeling of disconnect, the artificial life that I’ve seemed to have been placed into, is the hardest thing. I talk to my family only slightly less than what I normally would, and some of my friends get to chat with me everyday via gmail. Technology is amazing in what it lets us do. I woke up the other day and had a face to face conversation with a friend of mine who was sitting in her living room. Despite all the things that we have to keep in touch with our families and friends back home, email, skype, phones, there is still the prevailing feeling of disconnect.
When I left Utah, as our names were called off as to what bus to get on to go to the airport, I felt weird. And I wasn’t the only person feeling that way I could tell. I was alone, as were a few others there, in a sea of people and emotions. I was standing by myself as I watched families separating tearfully and unwillingly. It broke my heart as I watched little kids screaming for their daddies and mommies to come back to them as their names were called out. Spouses and parents cried, hugging and kissing each other. I stood there and watched all of it. I was alone. I had had someone there for a while, a friend who stood awkwardly and self consciously of the couples around us embracing and fitting in those last few minutes of affection. She left quickly. I’m not sure if it was because she was so tired, running on perhaps only 3 hours of sleep and had a long drive and day of work in front of her, or perhaps she wanted to get away from what seemed the appropriate thing to do to someone you loved when they were leaving for a far off land. Maybe I was the one who turned and walked away first, to spare her the stress of the situation that I could see in her eyes, or because I wanted to get started on this journey so I could hurry up and get it over with. Did I look back? I’m sure I did. Sitting in Texas for those long months prior to coming over here, and upon hearing of the shooting and deaths of several people I had interacted with there in Texas; made me reflect upon my life, and what on earth would I do if I died. Other than be dead that is. A pervading principle of my life, via my religion and upbringing, is progression. One cannot grow, progress, in solitude. And I was standing in the parking lot alone.
I’m not advertising to get married or whatever. Nor am I neglecting the fact that I have many, many good and dear friends who miss me every day and pray and hope for my safety and quick return. I can’t begin to tell you all how grateful and mindful I am of each of you who are thinking of me. I miss each of you as well, and I can’t wait to come home and see you again. I wonder though, how has your life changed since I left? You cannot deny that it hasn’t changed. In some aspects, you’ve moved on past me, in ways that you wouldn’t have if I were still there. I place a great deal of worth on the relationships that I have with other people. Probably more so than I really ought to. The distance, and knowledge that people would move on without me, progress in their own right without me, was the thing that scared me more than anything else about coming over here. You could take away all my comforts that I first described, and I would consider it no more difficult than I do now.
This probably only makes sense in my own head, so bear with me. The last time I was over here in 2003, ice was the big comfort thing, the huge luxury. For some reason, I realized that having ice in my water wouldn’t make me feel any better about being gone. So I never got any ice in my water, I left it for people who would appreciate it, and I think it caused more problems than it solved. My relationships didn’t grow or wane depending on if I had ice in my water or not… Does that make any sense? Maybe if you come back and read this at 3am it might.
So if you insist, as some of you have, on sending me something for Christmas or whatever, send me a picture with something written on the back of it, send me a letter telling me about your life and what you’ve been up to. Tell me your thoughts, hopes and dreams. What are your plans and desires? What do you fear, how are you going to conquer them? I’m not asking for anything personal that you wouldn’t normally share with me, and I certainly don’t wish to pry into your life more than you wish to share. I guess I’m just trying to say after all this rambling, is the best gift for me, is to be involved in your lives, and still be someone you count as a friend. And cookies.

Kuwait to Iraq

Wow, I just woke up from an almost 2 hour nap, and it’s not even noon yet… Thanks for paying your taxes everyone. I guess I should give an update as to what I’ve been doing lately, other than sleeping. For the past two weeks I was in a large base that served as a hub for people coming into and out of theater (the region that Operation Iraqi Freedom encompasses). It was a constant buzz of people, helicopters, generators and sand. So much sand. We took classes about IEDs, Iraqi culture, and a pretty sweet medical class. The medical class was kinda graphic, but it was one of the better training sessions that we’ve done. They had mannequins that looked like they were breathing, the blinked, had pulses, and yes, bled. The focus of the class was on tourniquets and how to apply them properly, so of course the mannequins were all missing at least one leg or part of one. The class was taught by an ER nurse who had quite a bit of experience. After the classroom portion, we all went outside for a minute and then the nurse played battle sounds on the loudspeakers in the room, people shooting, shouting, screaming, explosions and it was really intense. We worked in 3 man teams to apply our tourniquets to our little dude, and of course mine was missing both his legs, and squirting all sorts of red water all over the place. We got the bleeding stopped (either that or they ran out of red water for ours) and called in a medevac helo to take him away. It was way intense, and some of the people who took the class were visibly shaken by it.

The time came to leave and attempt to fly up to Baghdad International Airport. I say attempt because I knew a few people who had been trying to leave for 4 days and still were stuck in Kuwait. They actually were on a plane and in the air at one point, about 15 minutes away from BIAP when the pilot announced that they had a mechanical issue and were going back to Kuwait. I guess he said that the parts or the right mechanics were only down there and they didn’t want to get stuck in BIAP. It only took us the better part of 3 days to get up here, and we’ve been living out of our carry-on luggage. Some people didn’t remember the efficiency of the military and didn’t bring anything to sleep in like a blanket or a change of clothes so they suffered. I brought that, so I didn’t have as much of a hard time. I did have to do laundry in the shower, which I haven’t had to do in quite a while. It’s amazing how picky some people can be when they don’t get their comforts. We had one female Major complaining loudly one morning about how she wasn’t woken up in time to take a shower. Heck, last time I was here I was lucky to get a 5 minute shower in which I did some laundry and you didn’t care what temperature the water was as long as you got some.
But anyway, the facilities from the time I left Texas till I hit Baghdad were pretty decent. A bit simple, but better than I had the whole time I was in Kuwait last time. My back is starting to really hurt again from sleeping on the cots, I’m going to have to figure something out about that. I find it amusing the things that we do to mark time, and how we break up our days. Everyone uses the meals as ways to mark the passage of time. Even though we usually aren’t hungry, we know we ought to eat and it gives us something to do for a little while. I really can’t wait to get to Taji so we can get into our rooms and get into our offices and such. I think feeling like I’ve settled into a place will help things all over.
Last night, my first night in Iraq, it sounded like there was a firefight taking place in the distance. You could hear the sounds of the different caliber weapons going off, and then our helos flying to the direction of the fight. It was an experience to be sure. I was never even close to being in any danger, but it served as a good reminder of where we’re at. Speaking of where I’m at, this base near Baghdad has massive concrete sectional walls everywhere. They’re like 16 or 20 feet tall, 1 ½ feet thick, so every time I go outside I feel like I’m in a maze and I should be looking for cheese. It makes it slightly harder to find the buildings that you’re looking for too.
We should be heading out tonight sometime. I’m skeptical as to if that will happen or not, but if it does, I’m excited to ride on a helo for the first time. We’ll have 15 minutes from the time it touches down to get ourselves and all our gear loaded onto it, or it will leave us. The first group of us that went up actually had 5 people join them since they were left behind. I’ll let you all know when I get there safely. I miss you all, and I hope to get in touch with you all once I have better communication.

Silence

I have relearned that there is great value in being alone and having peace, quiet and time to think. For those of you who I managed to visit on my passes, you know that I didn’t really care to do a whole lot. I mostly just wanted to sit still, watch a movie or something, or just talk. Nothing really go and do type stuff. I have spent the past 2 and a half months living with anywhere between 40-60 other guys within 100 feet of me, constantly talking, playing movies music or just being loud. I have walked around this base during all hours, from 4 in the morning, to 11 at night, and there are always people everywhere. This place is going constantly. I know it’s the nature of what we do to run operations 24 hours a day, but I find now that I value the solitude and peace that your own space can bring. I like most of these guys that I’m with except some blessed few who manage to annoy me, but we can already tell its going to be a long deployment. I think being over here last time made me a slightly quieter individual, a bit more introspective. That’s an accomplishment for someone as quiet and shy as I was before I joined the Army. I believe that this time will be no different. I can already tell I don’t talk as much as I used to, and I enjoy just sitting and watching other people a bit more. I know that its mostly a phase to compensate for the lack of quiet here and I’ll go back to normal when I get home (whatever normal is) but for now, I’m going to shut up a bit and enjoy my own thoughts when I can hear them. But you can still talk to me. I’d like that!

Yeehaww!!!

Hey guess what!!! We’re having our first sand storm today! It’s just a baby one that looks more like it’s just cloudy out, but it’s blowing around more sand than usual. Even the smokers who haven’t been over here before are opting to not go outside to smoke. I think we all wouldn’t mind not having to go outside to use the bathroom like I just had to do. Good thing I knew where it was without looking! I’m going to have to re-master the art of walking with my head down staring at the ground only occasionally looking up to see where I’m going and what’s in my way. It’s always funny to see people’s reactions to things like this, just like it was funny to see their reaction to the heat. I didn’t have the heart to tell them we’re on the cooler side of summer, if it all works out well, we’ll be leaving right in the middle of the good heat! But, with the sand storms come bloody noses and irritated eyes, dirt all over everything, and probably a cough to top it all off.
And guess what else? My very first unit that I belonged to when I joined the Army is here! That’s right; the good old 363rd Military Police Company from Grafton, WV is here. I ran into one of my old mechanics in the chow hall. He looks exactly the same as he did when I left. Then I saw my very first NCO, and she hadn’t changed one bit. Except she did get promoted once, I tried not to make it a point that I achieved the same rank she’s at now before I became a Warrant Officer. I saw others, and it was great to see some of them. I know that a few of them don’t remember me, but it just proves how small the world really is.

Yet another post...

So I know I’ve said to most of you that I’m not doing anything while I’m here. And technically that is almost true. I do a lot of walking around, just killing time. There’s a movie theater that plays a mix of movies, but they play the same ones for a week straight, and well, if you don’t have anything to do for a couple days, you can easily knock out the ones worth seeing in a day or two. I stroll around the PX, the military’s version of a mini Wal-mart. Of course it doesn’t have anything I need or really want, but you go there just in case and often stare at the long lines of people buying stuff, thankful that you don’t have to be in it. We have conversations about the latest graffiti on the porta potties and how stupid it is, or if it’s funny. We talk about if and when we want to go eat, and which chow hall we want to go to. Do we go to the closer one that has plastic utensils and plates and is closer, or do we go to the one that has nice tile floors, real sinks to wash your hands in, get this, a FOUNTAIN!!! But it’s really far away. It’s not like we have much going on so we just probably spend more time debating what we’re going to do than actually doing it. One of the most common things you hear is “are you going to lunch?”
We went to the range the other day, to shoot our weapons off into the distance to verify that they work. Well they dragged 250 of us out of bed at 3am so we could get out there and do it before it got too hot. Once we got there, they realized that they forgot the ammo back in my tent… we waited several hours while they went back to get it… Not the brightest move ever. I imagine the thought process went something like this:” ok, we’re going to go shoot, what do we need to bring with us? People? Check. Weapons? Check. Transportation? Check. Place to shoot? Check. Are we missing anything? Hmmm, um nope, we’re good, let’s go!” Sigh, duh. We did have to chase some camels off the range so we could shoot, that was pretty fun. Of course everyone brought their cameras to take pictures. As much as we all realize it’s stupid and “green” of us to take pictures of ourselves in our “full battle rattle” (that’s something that we did in Basic Training because we thought it looked cool) we knew we wouldn’t have much of a chance to do it later and in a fun setting so we took full advantage of the situation.
Ooh so my unit, other than being stupid for forgetting ammo, is a group of jokesters. Let me give you some background… Soldiers live off of rumors. You can forget to feed them for days, but as long as they have a good rumor to hold onto, they’ll be fine. Word of mouth around here is quicker than IM. One of the guys in my unit started a rumor that there would be a camel race last Friday, and even put up a poster in the chow hall and made a scene about looking at it. Well needless to say that there wasn’t any camel race going on, but still, somewhere between 600 and 1000 people showed up to watch it, including some people in my unit! We have pictures of tons of people standing around this gravel field waiting for something to happen. There were even two busses of people whose tents were a ways away that showed up. Oh it was funny. At least for us.
As you all know, or used to know, there are so so many contractors here in Kuwait and Iraq, Halliburton and its subsidiaries are everywhere. Well every Friday one of them sponsors a 5k run/walk here on base, and the first 500 people get t-shirts. My friend Danny (SSG Hanks- Legal guy and soon to be roommate) and I decided to run it. It was quite a bit of fun! We were hurting around the 2.5 mile marker, but we each got a t-shirt!
Hmm, what else… Two of my nemesis, or nemisisi? Got into a huge fight over the temperature here in the tent. They’re both lazier than the anyone else around, and about as worthless as byu’s run defense against Florida State. But depending on where you’re at in the tent, it can be either really cold if you’re sitting under the vent or decent if you’re not. Well apparently they got into a fist fight about how high or low to set it. Quite amusing if you ask me. On a not so amusing note, the same guy who failed the PT test while we were in Texas because he gave up on the run and left in the middle of it, got into a fight with a kid a third his size, and put him in the hospital with a concussion. Granted the smaller guy talks crap like you have never heard in your life, and is super super annoying, and it was dumb luck that he hit his head, but my guy shouldn’t have lost his temper, especially in that manner. So we’re not really sure what is going to happen to him, I’m pushing for taking half a month’s pay, and 12 hour work days, 6 days a week for two months and taking his mid tour leave. And that’s kinda light compared to what they could do to him. It would be a stretch, but they could throw him in jail.
I think that’s about it for now. We took some classes yesterday about stuff that nobody really wants me to talk about, and we have some different ones coming up this week. Basically we’re just killing time and trying to get used to the heat and the time change so we can jump right into our mission up in Iraq. Oh, I did get dates for my mid tour leave; sometime in early May, I don’t remember exactly what though. To be honest, I probably won’t take it, but depending on my financial situation and how I’m feeling about things, I could be persuaded to go if the location and company is right. And if I feel right about it, so if I don’t go, as much as I would love to go to a number of spots, don’t be offended. It would be hard to be over here, then head back to the states for a little bit and get out of the mindset that I need here, and then come back to Iraq and get back into the game.
Ok, it’s almost time for lunch; I need to go join the debate about which chow hall we’re going to go to. I need to decide which one I’m going to root for today… Miss you all, hope to talk to you all soon. If you want to do something for me, send me pictures of yourself and what you’ve been up to, or cookies and other goodies will work just fine. Take care, and keep me in your prayers.

Kuwait Part II

I really need to think of a new title, I can't just keep calling them part III or IV...

I lay awake each night on my cot, listening to a rumble in the distance trying to figure out what it is. I know it’s not the sounds of the 40 other guys I’m sharing the tent with, some snoring, others silent. It’s either the flight line with its choppers taking off and landing constantly, but more likely it’s the hum of hundreds of diesel generators powering the camp. Why can’t I fall asleep? Because I sat around all day doing nothing, or is it because of the nap I took earlier that afternoon. Possibly because I can’t get my loved ones back home off my mind. Likely as each of those is, I get up and stumble outside, making my way toward the porta potties. Usually if I can’t fall asleep, it’s because I have to pee, and I don’t even realize it. I drink so much water here that I’m constantly going. I don’t think anyone here sleeps more than 3 or 4 hours at a time because we keep waking up to go. Not so much fun. And I won’t even describe the smell of it, mixed with the fumes of all the vehicles and generators spread throughout the base, plus the dust and natural stink of Kuwait. It’s amazing to me that I’ve been here a week, and I haven’t really done anything yet. Granted after spending more than two months in Texas doing next to nothing I shouldn’t be surprised.
The accommodations here are quite nice actually, in comparison to my last tour 6 years ago. I’m living in tent that is twice the size of the one I lived in last time, and have more space than before. It has solid doors which are irreplaceable when it comes to stopping dust and sand from getting in. My tent is less than 10 minutes walking distance from almost everything I could need. We have two chow halls, a huge gym (so I heard, the building is large at any rate!) and quite a bit of entertainment available. There’s an organization called the USO which is solely designed to take care of Service members while we’re away from home. They have a free phone center, computers with internet, TVs, video game systems, comfortable chairs and couches, it’s really nice. Probably my favorite thing in there is a system set up where parents can read books to their kids, and they’ll record it and send the recording and the book to the child for free. That kind of stuff just warms my heart. They have aerobics and other such classes offered throughout the day, we did a P90X class the other night and I’m still sore, but loving it. Of course all this is open almost 24 hours, but with the hundreds of Soldiers here, it gets crowded. And get this, we have a Burger King, a Pizza Hut knock off, a Baskin Robbins, and yes, a Starbucks, and it’s a hotspot for the wireless internet that you can buy access to. Wherever Soldiers go, there’s always someone there to take our money for us!
I feel a great deal more peace being here than I did previously. I’m not quite as stressed about my job as I used to be. I know the visits to my family in the South and again to Salt Lake really quelled my anxieties and let me know that everything will be ok. I was very stressed about how I was going to fit into the lives of the people who were important to me, and as I said before, some of them seemed to be pushing me away for various reasons and I didn’t like it one bit! But now I feel more comfortable with where things are between my friends and me. I hope they all go and do, and excel as much as possible. I hope I can only improve myself as well. Last time I left to be over here, I missed out on going on a mission for the church and I felt like I was really behind my peers in several categories, and that is still a fear for this trip, that I’ll fall even further behind. I know that only I can do anything about it, and that wills me to do and accomplish more than I have thus far.
It will help out a good bit once I get up into Iraq (probably going to move north late this week, early next) and can get into a good groove. I didn’t feel settled at all in Texas, and there’s no way I can do much towards doing things I would like while I’m here in Kuwait, I’m too transient. I’ll let you all know when I get up there and get settled, I’ll try to give some of you a call when I get there, just to let you know I’m safe. I’ll have daily internet access and a work laptop when I get up into Iraq, and I’ll also have access to a free phone line back to the states, so I’ll be able to email and call people more easily.
I’m doing much better. I’m as happy as I can be. The stupid wonderful little blue pills are doing their job, and mixed with a good dose of the gospel (still need to step that up a bit more) plus getting peace and resolution about my life back home, I’m doing fine. I love you all, and miss you more than I can say. I can’t wait to get back home and get into my normal life, but I know I’m going to be taken care of while I’m here. I’m grateful for all your prayers, the cookies I already received and know are on their way (hint hint), and your thoughts. I seriously could not have asked for a better group of friends, and I know I don’t do nearly enough to earn and deserve your respect and friendship. I’m in your debt.

Kuwait part 1

Hey how’s it going? I’m really at a loss as to what to say about these past few days. I guess I’ll start from when I got back from pass from Utah. The bus back to base almost hit a cow, which was pretty cool. We almost didn’t stop in time. Cows out there are pretty expensive. A good steer will run you upwards of $30,000. If you kill one on base, you owe for that cow and for the next three generations that it might have produced. Not cheap! When we woke up the next morning I put together some training for my guys to do, it was an exam based on what we should have learned in that waste of a class we spent two weeks in. I think the guys learned a bit more about what we were supposed to be doing overseas, at least I hope so. At any rate they said they learned more about the subject than they did in that class.
Oh yeah, most of you didn’t know that I had another pass to Utah. I knew I was going to have one for a little bit before hand, but I didn’t tell too many people I was going to be in town because I knew I wouldn’t be able to visit everyone I would have wanted to. I barely had time to visit the people that I told! I had a wonderful time though; I went to a US Men’s National Soccer team World Cup qualifier against El Salvador which we won. I was one of the very few white people in my section of the stands, and I didn’t speak Spanish so that was interesting. Everyone was there to have a good time and enjoy a great game. Such amazing soccer! I’m glad I went back to Utah, not only for the soccer game, but I was able to say goodbye to some people that I didn’t feel I had properly said goodbye to. I have more of a sense of closure now than I did before. I feel I’m able to hopefully focus on myself and what I’m doing here now. I am still going to miss the ones I love back home, and I’m still hoping to be a part of their lives when I get back. This had been a huge source of stress before this trip home.
Anyway, I got back from Utah on Monday and found out that I was leaving for Kuwait that Saturday. We hurried up and packed everything, except for me. Those who know me know that I usually wait till the day or night before I leave to get everything taken care of; this time was no exception. We flew out Saturday night around 7 pm from Texas with a two hour layover in Minneapolis, then another hour and a half in Frankfurt Germany. We arrived in Kuwait around 2am Monday morning, and Kuwait is about 9 hours ahead of Salt Lake. I’m still not sure how long we flew for, but I’ll let you do the math. Kudos to the first person who tells me how long I was traveling. I only slept a few hours over the Atlantic, but it was actually a pretty decent flight. I’ve had much worse cross country flights. I think everyone who hadn’t been to Kuwait before was really excited to be there, and those of us who had been there before were like eh, it’s still Kuwait. And it’s very much still Kuwait. I do have to say that I’m grateful that we were in Texas for July, August and part of September. The heat there prepared us well for the heat over here! Yesterday it was around 120, and today is pretty cool, only 108 right now! And of course our AC is broken in the tent. The tent isn’t bad at all, really nice actually. I’m on a cot with about 50 or so other guys with plenty of room to spare. About 20 of them are headed up North this weekend so we’ll have just that much more space. The thing I was most excited about was the doors on the tent! Last time I was over here I had a tent flap that would blow open any time there was even a slight breeze. If you want to know what it’s like, with the wind and heat, just turn on a blow dryer, put some sand on your hand, and holds it out in front of your face and turn the blow dryer on high. Make sure you keep your eyes open so you can really get the sand in there!
But really, it’s not too bad. I just can’t wait to get up to Iraq later this month so I can get into my own place (with a roommate) and get my stuff settled. The guys from my unit who have been here for a few weeks already say that it’s going to be quite boring the next few weeks till we leave. Then it’s going to get really hectic. We’re going to take over for another unit, and try to figure out what they’ve been doing and if it’s the way we want to do things. I’ll try to keep this updated as much as I can, but to be honest I don’t think I’ll have a whole lot to say. Well there was something I wanted to comment on. After I got off the plane, for about 12-16 hours afterwards I felt dizzy, like I was still moving up and down. I haven’t felt like that since I was on the boat in the Florida Keys and then stepped on land. I’m not feeling too well right now, they gave us a flu spray right before we got on the plane, then we spent all that time with some 350+ other people with recycled air, then thrown into this environment. I’m not the only one feeling less than superb, but I’m sure we will all start feeling better shortly. So far there isn’t anything to do other than eat, sleep and relax. Anyway, I hope that you all write me and keep me updated on your lives. I won’t have steady access to the internet till I get up in Iraq, but there’s a wireless internet place around here that you can buy access to for a month for about $30, so one of my buddies and I may split that even though I doubt we’ll be here for more than two weeks. Oh, and I know I told just about everyone that I would be home late June/early July next year, but I’ve seen some unconfirmed reports that we’ll be there till September, I’ll let you know when I know.
Well I miss you all and I hope that everything is going well for you. Please keep in touch, and I’ll do my best to update this as much as possible!

This one is for the Ladies!

Lately I’ve felt impressed to write about something that I feel very strongly about. I kept putting it off because it seems kinda weird to do this, but I keep getting this feeling like I ought to. These past few weeks that I’ve been gone have been hard on me as the three people who read my blog will remember from my almost constant complaining. There have been a few things that have gotten me through more than anything. Those would be my faith and the love of my Heavenly Father, those stupid blue pills, and my very caring and concerned friends and family; more particularly those of the female persuasion.

The women in my life are always something that I’ve treasured above just about everything else. The roots of that come from being raised by Mom and in part by my Grandmom. I have a deep and abiding love for these two women, and it wasn’t till I was older and on doing more things on my own that I came to realize just how influential they’ve been. Truly they’ve shaped the way I think and view the world, molded my faith, and sculpted my character. My early childhood was filled with much joy and carefree times. I remember helping my Mom work in the yard in the red apartments during a difficult time in our family, riding in the blue car with the sunroof, and being loved. I remember going shopping with my Grandmom, and spending endless summer days with her just playing. I never doubted that I was her favorite thing in the whole world, followed by my brother, her husband, my Mom and my Aunt.

Being raised mostly by those two women meant that I was instructed in proper manners and social customs. Every time I am complimented on my manners and how respectful I am, (not to toot my own horn, but people have said that about me!), I always tell them that it’s because of my Mom and Grandmom that I turned out as well as I have. Opening doors in buildings, cars, walking on the road side of the sidewalk, all of those things are second nature to me. I remember getting in trouble in Boot Camp for calling a female Drill Sergeant “ma’am” instead of Drill Sergeant, because I was raised to call women you didn’t know well or respected “ma’am” (ma’am is what you call an Officer, not an Enlisted person). That was one of maybe three times I was dropped as an individual and made to do push-ups the whole time I was in Basic. Everything good that I do in my life, and everything good about me, I can directly point back to those two women as the foundation of all of it.

That’s not saying that other women haven’t had an enormous influence on my life as well. My sisters, all four of them have helped me develop the protective instinct that I feel towards all my female friends, to care and look out for each of them. I was taught to protect them, care for them better than I would myself, and before myself. I do love each of my friends, and I hope they know that I would do anything for any of them at the drop of a hat if I could possibly do so, but I think that counts especially for the girls. My sisters are wonderful, and I love each of them individually, they are very much their own person with their own talents and strengths, and I wouldn’t change anything about any of them, except to have them know that I love them more so than they do now. My friends that I’ve made throughout the years, especially these past 5 or 6 years have been so amazing. They’ve listened to me talk forever about things they probably didn’t understand and acted interested, they’ve lent me strength when I was lacking. They’ve given me encouragement to do more than I ever thought I could do on my own, they make me believe in myself when I doubt. They forgive me when I’ve been rude or thoughtless or made them cry or broken their hearts. They’ve stuck by my side in situations when most other people would’ve run away, and pulled me from the depths of my own despair. They’ve taken care of me when I’ve been sick or broken, and trusted in me enough to confide in me. Each of them will have my eternal gratitude and good will, no matter where life takes each of us.

Something that has always bothered me is the lack of self image that a lot of girls have about themselves. I believe that society and probably other girls are the main things which break down a woman’s self image most. I believe that generally women are very susceptible to other people’s opinions in forming their own self image, and that is a shame. We’re taught that “beauty” and the right clothes and make up will make you desirable and that’s all that matters. While I’ll be the first to admit that a woman who takes care of her body catches my eye, it’s not what keeps it there. A woman who has confidence in herself and her abilities, who has faith and self assurance, that’s what gets me. Often you can see it in her eyes and the way she carries herself, that’s what lights my heart up. The ability to dig deep and accomplish things that she desires and challenges her is more desirable than fancy clothes any day. I have multiple friends who struggle with eating disorders and weight issues, and I imagine they will struggle their entire lives with it. If I could permanently convince them that they are so so beautiful the way they are because of whom they are, then I would. I would want to tell you that you’re wonderful as you are, and you don’t have as many improvements to make as you think you do.

A special place in my heart is reserved for those of you who are Mothers, or will soon be Mothers (even if you don’t think it will ever happen). Quite honestly I don’t know of a more selfless act (other than Christ’s) than a Mother. I’ve watched the heartache that I’ve caused my own Mom when I mess up, and that drives me to do and be better than I currently am. I can’t imagine the love that is developed from the side of a Mother, but I know not to mess with the prayers of a Mother. Despite my best efforts to do otherwise, the prayers of my Mom kept me in Kuwait, bored but safe the last time I went overseas. I hope those of you who are Mothers know of the gratitude that I have for you, even though you’re not “my” Mom. I’ve said occasionally to a few people that I hope my children are friends with yours when they’re growing up, that way I know their friends will have been raised right and it will make my job easier. I know that it must be hard to lose yourself and place your dreams and seemingly your personal progression on hold while you devote yourself to someone who doesn’t really appear to appreciate your efforts for them. Now that I’m “grown” I know just how lucky I was to have my Mom available when I got home from school every day, to have her to drive me places, to give up her money, food and time to keep me happy in things that I probably didn’t need. One of the things I guarded jealously was while I was in High School was making it home about twenty minutes before she had to leave to pick my sisters up from their school. I loved being there and talking to her about our days. That was my time with my Mom.

And for a moment let me just say how amazing it is how spiritually in tune and sensitive you all are! If you don’t believe me, take a look at a Relief Society meeting and an Elder Quorum meeting. One of my best friends was recently a RS Pres in her student ward and we’d talk about our Sundays and compare lessons and the like. The RS starts out with and I’m pretty sure ends with a hymn, while the Elders are trying to grill out an opening prayer from someone. The Elders do usually sing, but an acapella version of “Elders of Israel” or one or two other hymns. RS lessons are planned and prepared for usually at least a few days if not a week or two in advance, Elders, lucky if it’s sometime the week prior, usually the night prior, or that morning. RS answers are thought out and freely given, Elders; you’d have better luck pulling teeth with your fingers than get volunteered answers. And who is always out first, and who has kids opening the doors to see if their meeting is out yet? Those kids aren’t looking for Dad, that’s for sure! But honestly, the ladies are almost always more sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit. They just seem closer to Heavenly Father than the rest of us. Go ahead and find a guy who disagrees with me, and I’ll show you a fool.

So ladies when your heart weighs down and you’re struggling to remember who you are and what you stand for, remember at least that they are surrounded by love and support, starting with me and always and unconditionally by our Heavenly Father. Women are wonderful. End of story, cease debate. Ya’ll are amazing, stop arguing with me about it! TRUST ME!!

President David O. McKay put it beautifully when he said, speaking of mothers, “This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God. In her high duty and service to humanity, endowing with immortality eternal spirits, she is co-partner with the Creator himself.” -H. Burke Peterson

First, there is gratitude for our mothers. Mother, who willingly made that personal journey into the valley of the shadow of death to give us birth, deserves our undying gratitude. One writer summed up our love for mother when he declared, “God could not be everywhere, and so He gave us mothers.” While on the cruel cross of Calvary, suffering intense pain and anguish, Jesus “saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother!” What a divine example of gratitude and love! -Thomas S. Monson

You never know what a girl is worth,
You’ll just have to wait and see;
But every woman in a noble place,
A girl once used to be.

Woman was taken out of man; not out of his feet to be trampled underfoot, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.

Too frequently, women underestimate their influence for good. Well could you follow the formula given by the Lord: “Establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.” In such a house will be found happy, smiling children who have been taught, by precept and example, the truth. In a Latter-day Saint home, children are not simply tolerated, but welcomed; not commanded, but encouraged; not driven, but guided; not neglected, but loved. – Thomas S. Monson
You young men need to know that you can hardly achieve your highest potential without the influence of good women, particularly your mother and, in a few years, a good wife. Learn now to show respect and gratitude. Remember that your mother is your mother. She should not need to issue orders. Her wish, her hope, her hint should provide direction that you would honor. Thank her and express your love for her. And if she is struggling to rear you without your father, you have a double duty to honor her. – Russell M. Nelson

I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the “highest place of honor” in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty. One of your particular gifts is your feminine intuition. Do not limit yourselves. As you seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father in your life and become more spiritual, you will be far more attractive, even irresistible. You can use your smiling loveliness to bless those you love and all you meet, and spread great joy. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others. –James E. Faust

Do the best you can, and remember that the greatest asset you have in this world is those children, whom you’ve brought into the world, and for whose nurture and care you are responsible.” I repeat that tonight. Do the best you can to help all of us reach higher and do better. Use your innate spiritual gifts to bless. Help us push back the pernicious influences of the world in our lives, our homes, and in the Church. – Gordon B. Hinkley

Gripes and Thanks.

I’m munching on chocolate chip cookies that I managed to not gorge myself on which came as a result of my shameless begging for food. Oh so good. And not doing anything to help me decrease my run time. Tomorrow my brigade goes on a 4 day pass, but my section isn’t leaving because we’re in a class that goes through the pass. I think out of the 330 some people we have here, all but 15 of us are leaving. There’s an officer here who is being “left in charge” of us, and he’s the biggest pain in the rear I’ve ever met. Well one of the biggest anyway. He’s a very high maintenance Porto Rican who probably has a bit of OCD. He plays his Latin music really loud when he’s in the shower, and when he’s in front of the mirror shaving or brushing his teeth. Not only does he have his music up loud, but he dances the mambo in his underwear and sings while he’s shaving. I don’t know about you, but I try to stay pretty still when I’m shaving…. His biggest claim to fame around here is flipping out when someone else started to take a shower in the stall he wanted to use even though he wasn’t anywhere near being ready to shower, and there were other stalls open. So he tried to use his rank to make the other guy leave. Big mistake, as the other guy was another Warrant Officer who had been in the Army long enough to not give a crap about some idiot. It didn’t end well for the Porto Rican, and it resulted in him being teased about his habits for a while. And he doesn’t clean up when it’s his turn, so someone crossed out the names on the clean up roster and put his name on every day. It was all meant in a joking way to get him to realize that he needs to start being more accommodating to everyone else.
Anyway, all that was to set the stage for how he thinks this weekend is going to go. We set everything up to run smoothly without him being involved, and then he thinks he’s actually going to be in charge of the rest of us. All I know is if he tries to tell anyone in my section what to do outside of what we’ve already been told to do, we’re going to blow him off completely.
Sorry, but I’ve got another gripe… In this class that I’ve been in, I had high hopes for it, because I took it last summer in Wisconsin and learned a ton of good stuff, and it’s exactly what we’re going to be doing in Iraq. But the teacher who is teaching it here on Ft. Hood is killing us. She spent the first two days reading Army Regulations to us, straight from the regulation. If you don’t know how boring an Army Regulation is, go look up some congressional bill and try to make normal human sense of it. But anyway, we took the test over that this morning, but there were several questions which were questionable. We came back after lunch hoping to go over the test, but the teacher says she doesn’t do that, even though it’s a requirement for Army tests. So we all were wondering what the answers to the questionable questions were, and there were three people who would pass the test if they were right and the test was wrong. I spent 20 minutes arguing with this teacher that we need to go over the test so that I can see where I missed questions so I know what to study up on more. I really wanted to argue those few questions that I thought I got right. After an hour of yelling, showing her in the regulations where I was right, she finally said that she’d give us credit for one of the questions, when we had proven that at least two of the questions were wrong. I think everyone was pretty upset for the rest of the afternoon. But finally we got into the actual computer system and it got slightly more interesting. Granted it took us 3 hours to do something that should have only taken us a half hour, and it was one of the easiest things we’ll do… but it should be better tomorrow.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to these next couple weeks. The next few days it will be almost empty where I live so I’ll have peace and quiet. I’ll be in a classroom where I can do almost whatever I want because the teacher knows she’s lost me and I get the idea that she doesn’t really know what she’s talking about and just reads the pre made lesson plans to us. Then I go on my 4 day pass to the wonderful South! I get to see my parents and friends, just relax, do some cooking, watch movies, and float down a river. It will be different going home though, my dog Daisy died in late June, and it’s going to seem empty without her. My unit is still scheduled to leave around the same time that we were before even though they changed it several times since we first found out. I just want to get overseas and actually start doing my job. I hate sitting around so much.
I love and miss my friends and family dearly, and it’s hard when they all feel far away. But I just have to remember to keep my head up and have faith that I’ll eventually ok with where I wind up in people’s lives. I just want to get overseas and start doing something so hopefully time will go by more quickly. I am very grateful for all the prayers, love and support that I've gotten so far. I feel it and need it!

Help me test a theory!

Guess what everyone? I've decided to enlist your help in doing a study. What is it? To test the endurance of baked goods shipped via the postal system or any other freighter from random places in the United States to Killeen, Texas. That's right! You can participate in a scientific study looking at the durability of food products such as cookies, breads, pepperoni rolls, brownies and much much more! Entries into this study will receive a genuine letter of appreciation from an officer in the US Army, and all food stuffs will be properly disposed of. Submit your articles of delicious food to this address:

WO1 Jeff McGill
Bldg 56413
96th SBDE
North Fort Hood, TX 76544

And if you're not interested in helping science, look at this as a chance for service, to do something for the troops to help you feel good about yourself on the 4th of July, Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, Tuesday, or any other day of the week! Write it off as a charitable contribution, or another option to sending food to the local Salvation Army, send it to the real Army!

Ich bin ein Berliner

A lot of people have been asking me what I’ve been doing lately, or what my unit does, and what I’ll be doing overseas. My unit will coordinate all the logistics in a section of Iraq, and we’ve spent the last few weeks setting up a command center area for a simulation of what we’ll be doing over there. We’ll be covering situations ranging from salmonella outbreak in the chow halls, convoys getting hit, or people dying. All in all there are around 30 some situations that we’re trying to prepare for. We have plans for how we’ll react and who we contact, what reports we need to generate and how to meet suspenses. My section, the Property Book section doesn’t have a very large part in what they’re doing for this exercise. We manage and track all the property that needs to be accounted for within the units that we oversee. So overseas we’ll be very busy with units coming and going home, transferring their property to new units or even sending it to Afghanistan if needed. But here, for this, all we’d say is “account for property, see if the unit can still accomplish their mission if they lose something, if they need it, we’ll try to find an extra one, if we don’t have extra, we’ll order one”. I’ve been practicing saying that for over a week, I’m pretty good at it now. I’ve also been practicing my blank stare for when people ask me the inevitable stupid questions.
The plan was to run operations 24 hours a day, just like we’ll be doing overseas. The plan was to start that Friday night. The plan, like all Army plans, was changed at the last minute on the whim of someone that it isn’t affected by it. The building that we’re holding this exercise in contains a good bit of Secret and Classified stuff, nothing too important looking (trust me, I’ve looked for the good stuff). But that being the case, we’re not allowed to have access to cell phones or internet sites other than military. So I’m typing this on a word document which I’m going to email to myself via my Army email account. And then erase all the evidence! Anyway, today my section all went to sit around in the building and stare at each other like we’ve done for the past week, when just after lunch, they decided to bump up the day that they were going to start running 24hr ops to tonight. I managed to find a ride home around 2pm, sent off some emails for work, and took an hour and a half nap, ate dinner, and failed to get any more sleep after that. Once I got back here, myself and one other guy were supposed to run the section tonight, but guess what? They’re not even doing anything with the simulation till at least 4am Friday morning! They don’t even have any of the information loaded on the computers yet! None of the key players are here! They’re all in bed asleep! Needless to say, I should have seen this coming. I sent the other guy home on the same van that took us over here so at least he could get some sleep.
I’m determined to somehow stage a protest of sorts to the stupidity of all this. So far all I’ve managed to do is wear a beanie while I’m typing this because the thermostat is stuck on 60. Wearing a hat indoors is very against military regulations. Instead of provoking awareness of how dumb all of us being here tonight is, I’m getting lots of thumbs up and people telling me that I’ve got a good idea. I need a new form of protest. I should have brought my sleeping bag and bundled up in it while I type this. I think that soon I’ll take my boots off too. My feet have already been in boots for 12 hours today, I know they’re not looking forward to being in them till 8 am when the change of shift gets here.
People ask me what I do for my “training” while I’m here. If you took all the time that I was actually doing something productive and worthwhile in the three weeks I’ve been here, you might have about five days worth. The rest of it I’ve spent eating, waiting in line, sleeping, reading, waiting in line, working out, trying not to sleep through pointless classes (including the suicide prevention class that made you want to kill yourself) waiting in line, trying to sleep through pointless briefings, waiting in line, and...playing on the internet. I need to be slightly more productive. Sadly, a lot of the things I’d like to do, or would consider productive; I can’t do during a normal day. It just wouldn’t look very good if there’s an office full of busy, important looking people and I’m sitting in the middle of them reading a book. So I sit there and stare at everyone and try to look like I have a clue about what’s going on.
I realized today that I’m a tradable commodity. One of the guys in my section is from China, he’s not a citizen, his parents are both either former or currently with the Chinese military, and for some reason he can’t get a Security clearance. Imagine that. Yeah, you have to have a Secret clearance in order to work in my section. So we had to kick him out, but now we’ve got two open spots in our section to fill. I’m sitting in a senior enlisted slot myself. My boss could easily trade a Warrant Officer for two younger enlisted Soldiers, and possibly a senior enlisted person too, if he included a few selections in next year’s draft to sweeten the deal. I’m already working outside of my career field, so why not switch me to something I know nothing about? I hope my boss doesn’t figure this out. Yeah, I’d trade one young wet behind the ears Warrant who has a “don’t mess with me or my people” attitude for two young trainable fearful enlisted people and possibly a senior enlisted who knows what they’re doing.
It’s easy to see where the importance is in my unit as well. We’re in an old WWII style gym, with an office space upstairs with windows that look out over the old basketball court. The whole floor is raised up via a wooden platform to allow access for wires and such. And about the last 10 feet of the platform, there’s a wall. A nice drab grey wall. On the far side of the wall they have flat screen tvs, projector screens, phones, a sound system, brand new computers with three screens, nice stadium seating and a sense of “I’m better than you are” (reminds me of provo…). On my side of the wall we have a shortage of paper and ink for our printers, cardboard boxes, old laptops (you can use the internet on the one I’m on, but not print, and visa versa for the other), wires running everywhere that we’ve tried to duct tape down, metal folding chairs, card tables for desks, a phone that isn’t hooked up, and me in my beanie trying to look tough. I’m pretty sure I saw someone starting a fire in a barrel in the back. I call this building Berlin, and I live in East Berlin. I used to go over to West Berlin to visit some friends, but they deported everyone who didn’t belong in there. I can still see over that wall though, and they give me dirty looks for doing so. OH! I forgot to tell you the best part! The wooden platform ends about 4 feet behind our desks, and it has a 1 inch lip that comes up to keep the one wheeled chair (which I’m sitting in!) from rolling off the edge. But I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen trip over that sucker, or step on it and roll an ankle and fall onto the walkway below. I tell ya, we East Berliners really know how to have a good time. As one of my friends once said, it’s ghetto with a capital GH.
I think for the most part I am actually having a good time; as much as is applicable anyway. My section is in good shape, though I’m going to need a translator for the Puerto Rican that I’ll be working with. I swear he speaks English, but he doesn’t understand it to save his life. He thought he had today off, so he didn’t show up for work. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that. If I have to go sit in the freezing building and not have my cell phone, the he has to as well. I like my bosses; I’ve got three of them, my section boss, and then two others who run the section that we fall into. The big boss is great, he’s kinda high up on the food chain, so he can throw his rank around when we need it, and he’s got a southern drawl and cusses at things and situations that need to be cussed at. I’ve got a salty old Chief Warrant Officer 4 that most people are scared to death of but I can’t wait to learn everything he knows (the man ran several state’s worth of units till a few years ago), and then my boss is way relaxed. That’s probably a side effect of his civilian job, running the state of Utah’s Alcohol department for about a third of the state. He does taste testing at all the stores, so he gets to sip scotch at 9am. He has to spit it out or he’s be blitzed by noon everyday. That and the whole drinking on the job thing. I’ve got an NCO who is phenomenal, I told him that we were going to give a PT test to some of the guys, and in my mind, everything was taken care of. Well he went and mapped out the two mile run, got all the paperwork together, got all the required regulations, the man is on top of it. I know that whatever I tell him to do; he’s going to get it done. And the young guys are all pretty motivated and seem eager to do their jobs. It’s hard to keep them occupied; there usually isn’t a whole lot for them to do, so they’re bored out of their minds. But once we get overseas it’s going to pick up quite a bit.
Well I’ve talked your ear off, if you’ve even made it this far. It’s only 2am, and I’ve got to somehow stay awake for another 5 or 6 hours still. Yawn…. Thankfully I have Friday off.

Something's been bothering me

Normally when I write a blog, it's spewed straight from my head to the screen, little editing or rearranging goes on if any at all. This topic however I've been debating whether or not to talk about it all day, and I decided that while it may be short, semi repetitive, and not able to be understood by the average reader (out of the 4 or 5 of you who actually read my stuff) I'm going to try to edit and refine this a bit more than usual. Hmm, that whole thing was two sentences long. I'm going to have to work on that. Later.
Today I went back on antidepressants. I've been feeling kinda down for the last several months with all the changes in my life that have been happening. A major relationship change, somewhat a career change in becoming a Warrant Officer, changing units and leaving behind a huge source of strength in my friend Paul, my best friend Jason and I were resolving our differences, stressing about my new unit going to Iraq, moving out of my house, feeling disconnected from just about everything in my world, and most of all distant from my Heavenly Father.
Several of my closest friends have known about my situation for a while. I thought that maybe once I got to Texas and had a change of scenery that things would get better. I think that coming to Texas revealed just how bad it was. If you recall I made a list of goals to keep myself busy and improve myself. I feel that those were all worthy and attainable goals that I'm still going to work on. I wasn't getting anything done on any of those goals. I didn't have anything going during the day, so it wasn't a lack of time, but I was so drained and unmotivated, devoid of energy or desire, that i would end up just sitting in my chair piddling around on the Internet. For a whole week almost. I was in a room full of people but I was alone. Now granted I know I'm not alone in any sense of the word, but I still feel very alone. I lack most of the key things that people in my situation use to ground themselves while they're gone. A house, a wife/girlfriend, kids, a real job, family close by... I have tons of friends, ones that I know I'll keep till the day I die and then some. And my sister lives in Provo with her husband so that's nice. But I just feel the profound lack of something, that feeling of home, that place I can go to. I had it, but i lost it. I know I can always go to my parents house, but they live in a house and a town that I've never lived in before, and I can't bring myself to call it home yet. My parents and one of my sisters are there, and where my Mom is will always be home to me, but I just haven't emotionally connected to it yet. So lately I have just been feeling like a sail flapping in the storm.

My main point isn't so much a woe-is-me type thing, I'm going to be ok and I know it. It's just going to take 3-4 weeks for me to get fully there and then work on myself to get back off the meds. My main point is more to a few of my friends who mean extremely well, but just don't quite understand the nature of the disease. A dear friend of mine sent me this quote when she heard I was struggling. It's by President Hinkley:
"Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenges seem overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain. The marvelous thing about prayer is that it is personal, it is individual, it is the most intimate communication between us and our Father. We should not hesitate to ask Him to bless us, to help us realize our righteous ambitions. We can ask Him for the important things that mean so much to us in life. He stands ready to help, strengthen and comfort."
I love that quote. It give me hope, and inspiration. And I've kinda felt that if I had to turn to medication again to help me feel normal, or have enough energy to do more than just lay in bed and think about how much just laying in bed sucks, I would be giving up on Heavenly Father's ability to work within my life, heal me when I needed healing, and taking a cheap way out of my trials. Another friend told me that I needed to read my scriptures more often and pray better (all the while being careful not to imply that I was doing poorly to start, just that increased faith and study brings increased blessings and strength). And these two friends are totally correct in their suggestions and bringing about the quotes. I haven't been as faithful as I need or want to be in doing the things that will bring me blessings. But when you can tell that there's not something quite right with you, that you normally don't feel this way, and it's been this way for a while and it's not getting better... It's maybe time to do something about it. When someone asks you what you're down about, and the answer is everything, it might be time.
I had to sit in a line, or wait to sit in a line for about 7 hours today. I had my ipod touch on me, with an awesome new LDS scripture app on it that i was going to read. Seriously, it's got all the talks from the past 5 general conferences, all the hymns, the manuals, Preach My Gospel, and just about everything else you could ever want. I got it out to read, but I was so unfocused that I couldn't keep more than five words strung together. I don't need to be like this when I'm accounting for several billion dollars of property in Iraq.

So instead of going to Disneyworld like I had been planning to, I am feeling the need to go home and see my Mom and what family is there in Alabama when I get a pass here next month. I need to reestablish those connections that will help me feel grounded and center myself. I hope to see the people I love and care about, pet my dog, maybe go down a river in an inner tube and have some s'mores. I'm working on drawing closer to Heavenly Father, we're having some good chats, and more are to come. Till I can feel normal and grounded again, I've got my wonderful stupid blue pills.

And no, I didn't really bother editing this either.

Name that gun!

Ok everybody, it's something of a tradition for Soldiers to name their weapons after their wives or girlfriends as they head overseas. Since I'm short a wife or girlfriend, I'm going to open up the naming of my M4 to the general public. Once I get some suggestions, I'll let you all know what I pick!

Sitting around

If you recall one of my previous posts I made quite a few ambitious goals for myself. If I were to grade myself right now, I'd have to give myself a solid D minus. I have yet to work out, I haven't read nearly as much as I would like to, and the most Spanish I've learned is how to say I'm bored: Estoy aburrido. Actually I'm getting about a word a day texted to me for me to learn. It's not too bad. So all this means I have only have upwards to go! I'm starting to read at night more, and I find that it calms me after a long day.
Speaking of my days, can I just tell you that since I've been here I've not done a whole lot of work. I've mostly just sat in meetings that don't pertain to me or my section, been to medical appointments, and played around with the guys in the my section. We try to eat chow with at least one other member of our section, to get used to being around each other and grow closer. I like it, getting to know the guys better, and they like calling out other Soldiers we pass as we walk if they don't salute me because they know it annoys me. Granted it's the right thing to do, but I don't like standing next to them as they shout out "Hey, are you too good to salute MY Warrant Officer" loud enough for people in the surrounding areas to all take notice. I think I'm going to start taking the longer less traveled way around places. The powers that be traded one of my favorite Soldiers to another section in exchange of a higher ranking guy that nobody has ever seen. I think my guy will be better off where he's at now, but I was looking forward to having someone with a similar sense of humor and morals to hang out with.
I feel slightly guilty being here with nothing to do. The computer system that I'll be using is a live system, and what we change in there is changed in the real world, so we can't exactly train on the system very often. I end up sitting in my chair next to my bunk like I am now, playing on my laptop. At least I'm getting my money's worth for it! Most of my other Officer friends have things to do during the day, either courses they're taking or things that actually pertain to us leaving. You should see some of the looks that I get for sleeping till 7 when they all are up at 5, and I'm sitting in my chair when they get back at night! Hey, I'm sorry I don't have to be at work till 830 most days and a busy day at work is when I've got 2 hours worth of stuff to do, if I stretch it. Oh well, I guess it just gives me a better chance to start working on my goals and get into a routine. I just can't wait for the actual training to start happening. Still no mail....
WO1 McGill Jeff
HHC 96th STB
North Fort Hood, TX 76544

Visiting my Brother

Last Saturday I had the pleasure and joy of hanging out with my brother's family for the first time ever. I've met my sister in law Cassie once before, and she is one cool girl. I'm pretty sure that she has more tattoos that my brother does, and if she really wanted to, as big as my brother is, I'm sure she could beat him up. My niece Alexis is pretty chill. You can tell she has been raised by my brother who has been a stay at home dad ever since she was born. I really enjoyed it since my niece is starting to develop a personality instead of just laying there looking at everything. She's walking, making noises, laughing, all sorts of things. She let me hold her, and didn't cry at all really. I think she quite enjoyed being held by me, I know i enjoyed it anyway. I'm really glad that I was able to visit them. It was great timing since it was my brother's 28th birthday. I wish that my brother and his family lived closer to me so I could see them more often. And thanks to my friend Tara for reminding me how to post pictures to this thing.

Texas

I’ve been in Texas for about three days now, and I think in those three days I’ve produced more sweat than I did the whole time I lived in Utah. And the thing is, it’s only going to get worse! Good thing I like the heat. We haven’t done a whole lot it seems, just going through some stations that make sure our paperwork and medical issues are ok. Everybody has to go through and get shots, have their hearing checked, make sure we all have wills etc. Since I’ve already been over once I don’t have to get most of the shots thankfully, only the anthrax vaccine. I really like my section quite a bit, they’re a group of good guys. They’re pretty young but they’re enthusiastic and eager to please. I’m looking forward to working with them. When they split us up into two teams within the section I’ll be glad to work with my team, but sad that I won’t get to work as closely with the other half. I still miss my friends back home quite a bit. So far this just feels like another training instead of the start of something bigger. It hasn’t quite hit me that I’ll be leaving for a year yet. I know that to some of my friends back home it hasn’t quite hit them either. I said goodbye to one of my friends and she juts acted like she was going to see me the next day or something. I kinda expected a bit more of a reaction considering the weight of the moment, but after I left it hit her harder. I’ll be looking into getting Skype and seeing how all that works. I live in an open bay with about 30 other Officers so privacy isn’t a huge part of our lives and I don’t want everyone listening into my conversations. Still no word on when we’re heading overseas. Well we do have a guesstimate but I can’t publish it on here, so if you want to know you can still text me. My brother is down here in the same town that I am, and it’s his birthday today. I don’t have anything going on today so I’m going to try to see if I can’t get him to come visit me on post and bring his family. I really want to see my niece and sister in law. And him too.

Themes

I find myself thinking about my last deployment and comparing it to what I think this one will be like. Aside from actually having goals and desires to improve myself this time, I feel that it will be much the same. I still have the same worries and apprehensions I do about coming back and what life will be like when I get home, but that will all take care of itself eventually. One thing I did like that I did last time that I plan on doing again this time is I had a scriptural theme. Last time, at the beginning of the war in 2003 when I was over there I was pretty young, 20 yrs old, and gung ho about going over there. I knew that it would be a challenge for me in all aspects of life, but more importantly spiritually. My theme was Alma 46:12+13 which reads: And it came to pass that he rent his coat; and he took a piece thereof, and wrote upon it—In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children—and he fastened it upon the end of a pole. And he fastened on his head-plate, and his abreastplate, and his shields, and girded on his armor about his loins; and he took the pole, which had on the end thereof his rent coat, (and he called it the title of liberty) and he bowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren, so long as there should a band of Christians remain to possess the land—

The desert heat, the stress of the job and being away from my family and friends, everything that I knew and loved caused me to think about quite a bit and realize that I was quite blessed in all that I have. But I was struggling to keep my head above water so to speak. Trials and temptations were getting me down and I often felt more alone than I have ever felt before or even since. Some of my LDS friends over there adopted a scripture which I eventually did as well. It's the entire 122nd section of Doctrine and Covenants. It reads:
1 The ends of the earth shall inquire after thy name, and fools shall have thee in derision, and hell shall rage against thee;
2 While the pure in heart, and the wise, and the noble, and the virtuous, shall seek counsel, and authority, and blessings constantly from under thy hand.
3 And thy people shall never be turned against thee by the testimony of traitors.
4 And although their influence shall cast thee into trouble, and into bars and walls, thou shalt be had in honor; and but for a small moment and thy voice shall be more terrible in the midst of thine enemies than the fierce lion, because of thy righteousness; and thy God shall stand by thee forever and ever.
5 If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea;
6 If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb;
7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
9 Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

So I'm asking for suggestions for scriptures that have gotten you through your rough times, ones that give you inspiration and hope. I know this will be a challenging time for me, but I'm looking forward to the chance I'm being given to grow as a person and to come to know and rely on my Savior even more than I do now.

Getting ready

I should be asleep, but I'm not. I have a long busy day tomorrow, it's my last full day in Utah for the foreseeable future. I have quite the day ahead, breakfast lunch and dinner with friends, hanging out, taking my truck up to Idaho and leaving it there, and I still have to pack some stuff on top of it all! I'm sure I'll get it all done sooner or later.
I just wanted to update everyone on what's going on with my trip overseas and my life in general. I moved out of my house on the 30th, the lease was up, and I'd only be here for another 7 days or so afterwords so there wasn't really any need to sign a new one. I'll just find another place when I get back. I do need to give a big thank you to everyone who helped me move out, both with actually packing things up or cleaning the house up for me. I was working for my Army unit getting everything ready to move to Texas and I just didn't have enough hours in the day to get it all done. So thank you once again, I only made it out because of you.
I broke all of my glass pots, pans, dishes, cups etc.. They were packed nicely and neatly, very carefully (you can tell I didn't pack them), and when I took them to my storage shed I made sure that even though they were up high, they wouldn't fall. Well I went to get another load of stuff, and sure enough, even though the box wouldn't fall when I tried to get it to, it fell when nothing was even touching it. I even managed to break some plastic bowls and containers. How awesome is that? And since I didn't feel like rearranging everything in my shed to accommodate my bed (would've been a tight squeeze anyway), I just left it at the local thrift store. So I'll be looking for a new set of dishes and a place to sleep when I get home. Maybe I'll move into a place that will let me have a large bed! It wasn't easy trying to figure out what to put away that I won't need till I get home, what to put away that someone might need to get for me, what I'll need until I leave, and what I'll need overseas.
I'm living in a hotel out by the airport right now. My unit rented about 85 rooms for 11 days from this place, so they gave me a room for free. It's not too bad, I have a really nice room.
Here's the update on my deployment. On Wed at some time yet to be announced my unit will fly to Texas, a place called Ft. Hood near a town called Killeen. It's hard to believe, but someone high up messed up a bit. The unit we're supposed to replace in Iraq isn't scheduled to leave for another month later than what they thought. It would make sense to just send them home a month early, but nope, that's not what is going to happen. Originally we were supposed to be in Texas training for going over there for a month and a half, but now we've got an extra month on our hands. We can't go to Iraq for that month because they don't have room for us there. We can't go to Kuwait for the same reason. From what I hear Texas doesn't have room for us either past the month and a half that they originally planned for. So we're going to be wandering around trying to find somewhere that will take us for a whole month. My section is trying to get into some training in Wisconsin for two weeks of that month, so we'll see what happens.
My section is going to be pretty busy. We're going to break into two teams, one of which I'll be running, and we're going to manage the equipment of all the units in about a third of Iraq. We'll track it, ensure that they don't have more than they're supposed to, and if they're short something, we'll try to get it for them. With the draw down of troops over there, we'll go from managing 5 larger units down to 2 by the time we leave next June. I have a bunch of young guys in my section, and I'm the only one who has been over there yet, so this promises to be interesting.

Can't sleep

My random thoughts....

I worry about my dog Daisy. She's 13 years old, and apparently isn't doing so well. She's getting weak and can't eat much. My other dog, Toby can tell there's something wrong and is acting kinda depressed according to my Mom. Losing Daisy would be a huge loss to my family, she's such an integral part of who we all are. It's amazing how much an animal can become a part of our lives.

I forgot to mention that my best friend Jason makes me feel better about myself in many ways. In this instance, he lives in California selling not security systems like I thought, but get this... garbage routes! He works for this company who tries to consolidate neighborhoods and get people in certain areas to swap "sanitation providers" to condense his company's routes. So he's like the garbage man's assistant. I love it!

I am really glad to be back home finally. I loved my trips and everyone I was able to see and meet and I'd do it again in a heartbeat but it's nice to be at my own house. granted it's only my house for 8 more days in which I need to find a storage shed, pack and move out. Talk about stress, I have to pack, but still keep things out that will last me till I leave for good.

I think with all the trips I've taken this year so far, and the fact that I'm about to leave for a bit makes me feel very disconnected from everything. I'm looking for something to help me feel grounded.

I still don't like California, I'm convinced it's going to eventually burn even more than it usually does. And how is it that I can spend days out on the open water and on the beach on the East Coast, and only get slightly burnt, but I can spend 3 hours on the beach in San Diego and come back roasted?

Even MORE vacations!

Ok, I promise, this is going to be my last vacation in a long time! Unless you count my all expenses paid trip to a certain cradle of civilization country that some of my friends refer to as me going on vacation. How's that for denial?
At this point, I'm a little more than halfway through this vacation. Last week after being beaten shamelessly in a game of Settlers (even though I was totally justified in losing, they had to change the game AND the rules just to have a chance at beating me) I decided I needed a pick me up. Where else do I go? That's right, to visit my best friend Jason in San Diego. He always makes me feel better. At this very moment, I'm watching him sleep uncomfortably on a love seat, last night's bowl of ice cream sitting next to him. I took his bed, heck, just doing that makes me feel better! Dang he woke up. But yes, I'm halfway through this vacation. I had a pretty boring week, didn't do ANY of the things that I had set out to do, and decided that I needed to come visit him, if only to justify my procrastination a little bit more.
Yesterday we went to Sea World, with him complaining about my selection of parks. With all the parks that were around, why did I have to chose Sea World! It was like picking McDonalds when there's a dozen fancy places around. Well to be honest I didn't know there were any other parks around, and Sea World came highly recommended. I sat listening to him complain about it all the way to the park, but once we got in the park, oooh guess what! Sea World was his favorite park when he was 9, and he was excited to be going again. Such a baby underneath that rough, tough, grouchy, depressing exterior. I love this kid. But of course it was raining most of the day, clearing up later. I really enjoyed most of the exhibits, though I got the feeling that at my age, unless I'm coming with a couple toddlers, it's not really geared for my enjoyment. I think I'm in between their target demographics which are little kids, and parents of little kids who have the money.
But today being Sunday I think we're going to take it a bit slower and just relax, go to the beach and walk around. Crazy to think that just a week ago I was sitting on the East coast, and now I'm on the West coast. It's going to be a good day, and I'm looking forward to spending time with my best friend till my flight leaves. I should probably find someone to pick me up from the airport huh? Anyone want to come get me at midnight?

Vacations again

Where I last left off, I had just gotten home from Florida. Lo and behold, 2 days later it was time for me to run off and go play Army in Virginia for 2 weeks. This training was the final training for my Warrant Officer promotion. It was supposed to give me the basics of management within my field, and teach me supervisor functions on several computer systems that we'd normally use. The normal Active Duty Army course is 8 weeks long, but since I'm a Reservist I only got a 2 week course. So they took 8 weeks worth of material and condensed it down to a 2 week version. You'd think that it'd be a very "go go go" type class, starting early and ending late, lots of learning the whole time, right? Wrong. I should never underestimate the Army's ability to screw things up. Of the 13 days that I was there (rather, supposed to be there, due to a misunderstanding I showed up a day early, and I left a day late, to be explained later) we probably only had 6 days worth of classes. The rest of the time was spent in the classroom, but we were sitting around doing nothing. They would have us get up at 3 am for most of the first week, for random things that would only take an hour or two to do, and then they'd let us go till 8. We couldn't go back to sleep, it was pointless to go back to the hotel that we were staying in (oh, I found a dead roach every morning in my room, great way to wake up). It was frustrating the amount of time that we could have either been learning something useful or doing something that we wanted to do.
But anyway, the class was useless, I didn't learn anything. Scary considering how I'm going to be expected to do my job without problems or bumps here in about 3 weeks, just because I checked the box that said I got the proper training. Kinda reminds me of how I feel about a high school diploma or a college degree!
On to the fun stuff though! While most of my classmates were leaving on the Friday that we graduated (yet another waste of time that nobody cared to do yet had to checked off in order to justify our instructors' jobs.) I wasn't scheduled to leave until the following day. And it just so happened that some people were headed to Myrtle Beach, SC that week for a vacation. I was lucky enough to be invited down to hang out till my flight left. So right after the graduation I drove the 5 hours to the beach, and within a half hour of me arriving I was in the water! It was so nice, the water was warm, the company was amazing and the weather was perfect. We swam for about an hour, then went back to the room to change. We had tickets to go to a show called Medieval Times. I had never heard of it before, but it's dinner and a show, set in the 11th Century. I understand that the story varies from place to place, but our section had a knight to cheer for, and we watched horses do tricks, and some really good riding and sword fighting. I thought that my sister Kelly should go work there, she'd love it. We ate dinner with our hands, and our wrench (waitress) was really fun to interact with. When we got back to the hotel, which I might add, I'm very grateful to my friend for letting me crash on the extra bed for free, and I'm glad that it wasn't a King sized bed, cause that might have been a bit awkward at times! But anyway, after dinner we walked around on the beach for hours and hours just talking and catching up. It was warm, and we walked in the surf watching the heat lightening over the ocean. It could have been considered romantic by some, I was just enjoying the view and people watching. It's odd how many people were out and about as late as we were, but I guess we were out too... We got ice cream and watched a guy tap dance, talked about the various types and groups of people that were around us, and just enjoyed being there. I don't think we got to bed till 3 or so, but it's going to be a long time till I see anyone from there again, if ever, so I wanted to make it last.
The next morning I knew I'd have to leave sooner than I wanted to, so we got up and walked the beach again, looking at shells and letting the moments linger. We finished conversations from the night before, ate breakfast and packed up. I really enjoyed my time out there, and it made the previous two weeks of pain and suffering totally worth it. I'm glad that I went, and I hope that we all keep in touch and know that if they ever come out to Utah for any reason they have a place to stay and a friend to hang out with. Some really amazing people...
But all good things must come to an end, and this one ended way too soon for my liking. I could have gone another week, easily. I left with enough time to get to the airport and sit around for an hour or two, just in case. And it was a good thing I did, cause due to backed up traffic coming out of Myrtle Beach and an accident along the way, I lost about 2 hours. So I had to go 85-90 (in a 65!) the times that I wasn't sitting still in traffic, and thanks to some good driving and some blessings from Heaven, I made it safely, with about 10 minutes to spare before the plane took off.
It felt good to be home, though I longed to be back at the beach in the company of good friends, no cares and amazing weather. I was able to see my sister Laura and her husband Shane last Sunday for dinner. They made me pancakes and bacon, it was so good to not have Army food at last! We played an expansion version of Settlers, and I came in dead last, but not by much. At least I will always have the satisfaction of beating Shane the first time I played him. Probably a very good thing on his part that he lost. It may not have been a good thing beating your future brother in law in a game he's good at the first time you meet him. I totally felt like the Alpha male. Yes yes, my ego was massaged, still is.